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A Beautiful Temptress Messes With Nature. Riginal

Fact: The female tarantula’s virginity returns to her after intercourse. The male can be eaten during this process. Beats lighting up a ciggie or making a cup of coffee…or scanning the web for a good place to dine. De-ja-vu? Why eat out when you can eat in/or your hubby. I would imagine a lot of males would settle for an embrace and a good book as opposed to a good bonk. I mean handcuffs would be an expensive no-no. Fangs you very much. During the ‘life cycle of the Tarantula’ doco and its peculiar habits i dozed off.

A beautiful Japanese woman was bored out of her mind. She had more money than you could poke at a jellyfish. It is another fact that a jellyfish if cooked correctly is quite tasty.The nutritional value enhanced Toyo’s beautiful shape. That young Toyo started her tentative tentacle business and as a result of careful saving/promotion, amassed a fortune. You see the jolly jellyfish abounded the coastline. Fishermen Toyo toyed with on a regular basis paid her in jellyfish which were sliced diced and fed to the diners at her now thriving restaurant.

Toyo was bored. She sold her business to another jell gal and moved into the world of pleasure. She traveled the world breaking men’s hearts.She vowed to make every man on the planet fill her wanton desires. She developed a weird fascination. Operations to parts of her body. Although beautiful she desired more,she watched how creatures mated and lived. She traveled with her own personal surgeons. One night as she watched a bee buzzing she demanded a sting to be grafted on to her bot. The men she mated or to be more precise pollinated with, were fascinated…thought it was swell. Toyo demanded grasshopper feelers to be grafted onto her ears. Her lovers FELT swell. It came to a stand-off with her surgeons. Toyo watched the mating habits of the female Tarantula. She was astonished at the revelation that the hairy female’s virginity returned to her after coupling with a lover. The surgeons were summoned and told to operate on the former jelly lady so that her body would attain the same ‘return of virginity’ after whoopee.

The surgeons were aghast and warned Toyo that it was an extremely dangerous op and it would be much safer to have whiskers implanted in her cheeks like the now famous Catwoman. Toyo said she would not come within a sardine/meow of that. She produced her cheque book. The surgeons prepared for the big T party op. Toyo flew out solo one month later to the Isle of Man. The isle was full of them. Why indeed shouldn’t she? What’s good for Casanova was good for the former Casserole jellyfish magnate. The exhausted fretting surgeons chain- smoked , picking iron filings out of their teeth. What they did was unethical. But cheques speak louder than chaps. They sat by the phone,fretted. A call from an angry Toyo. “i knew it” shrieked Toyota the head surgeon. “Your virginity does not return after making whoopee?”Toyo sighed, ” That part is fine…great.” “Then why you ring?” shouted the surgeon. “Well…i’m just so bloody sick of these tarantulas…!” I woke with a jerk… Cheers. Moral: Be happy with your body, don’t mess with nature it could literally bite you on the bum.

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